“We have all experienced the destructive effects of the projections onto the feminine in Western societies. These projections trace their origins to the joining of the patriarchy with institutionalized monotheism. The patriarchy grew out of the middle ages into the Age of Reason, and this movement birthed a cultural mentality that became rational, verbal, and literal. This new mindset rejected the mythological and symbolic values in our religious writings, which had nurtured and guided peopleʼs lives for centuries. Today, because we have lost these values and are allowing information to replace knowledge, we no longer realize that symbols and images carry a deeper reality than words. Part of our devaluation of the feminine results from our loss of the art of thinking symbolically. To lose this art is to lose the kind of grounding that enables us to experience the beautiful depths of love and the Divine presence that is potentially within our capacities.” Massimilla Harris, Ph.D. and Bud Harris, Ph.D. Into the Heart of the Feminine. p. 73

The following questions are from the study guide that accompanies Into the Heart of the Feminine. It can be downloaded here.

Question #1: Can you think of ways that you have denied the feminine in yourself?

I’ve wholeheartedly embraced the mythological and symbolic values in religious writings, literature, and events in my outer and inner life, including dreams for many years. Thinking symbolically has greatly enriched my life.

However, there’s another feminine part of myself that I’ve devalued:  my feeling side. When strong emotions like hurt, self-pity, or pain threatened to emerge, I’ve habitually repressed them. Relying on my ego’s will power, spiritual beliefs, and rational thinking I’ve denied them expression. I’ve thought my emotions were childish, self-indulgent, and potentially very harmful. I’ve not wanted to hurt anyone with my anger and have been proud of my self-restraint. Proud of being a strong, tough, warrior. I didn’t want to be a weak whiner.

I believed that repressing these parts of myself was noble, brave, and admirable. In actuality it was cowardice. I was filled with fear and pain but refused to acknowledge it. In repressing my soft, vulnerable self, my heart and personality were becoming hard and brittle and my life energy was draining away.

Question #2: Can you see how our societyʼs denial of the feminine causes us to ignore our longings for love and for meaning until they erupt in negative ways?

Yes, especially in recent years. I’ve not loved my vulnerable, sad, abandoned Orphan. I’ve longed for love but not loved myself. I’ve unconsciously assumed I was unworthy. Not deserving of love because of some basic flaw that made me unlovable.

By the time I finished writing and promoting The Soul’s Twins, I began to sink into a depression. With the loss of the hard work that had masked some emotional truths so effectively for so long, a confusing mix of lethargy, sensitivity, self-pity, and bitterness began to spill into my awareness. Unconsciously, I projected my frustration and anger at patriarchy’s rejection of the feminine onto my husband.

Fortunately, my ongoing inner work, like my recent journaling about Into the Heart of the Feminine, is helping me see this. I’m astonished at the power self-knowledge has to lessen my depression and bring a return of life energy, hope, and love.

Question #3: What do you think about our cultureʼs fear of the transformative power of the feminine?

The idea that we can control our lives and achieve happiness with intelligence, reason, hard work, and will power—while ignoring our honest feelings and refusing to change our attitudes and ways of being—is deeply engrained in our social fabric. I think it’s toxic and dehumanizing because it rejects the feminine half of our fullest potential.

I think our fear of challenging this masculine model explains why the suicide rate for young men in the U.S. is now the highest in the world. We’ve all been brainwashed by our educational system which passes along this negative cultural messaging. I fear that if our descendants  continue to ignore their authentic feminine sides and inner lives, humanity will become so deeply dysfunctional that we’ll despair of ever finding a way out of our misery.

I hope my books and blog posts provide a model for how to open ourselves to change. I hope my readers will understand and accept the difficulty of this path that automatically brings pain and suffering. I hope they will acquire the strength to stay on it anyway. I hope you will develop the courage to listen to your own heart and soul, and seek self-knowledge, meaning, and wholeness.

Everything I’ve written has ultimately  been motivated by my desire to help my children and grandchildren love their feminine sides and the feminine side of life. I haven’t always modeled this in my behavior, but I’m getting the message and moving in the right direction. I hope my descendants will surpass my efforts and that their lives will be a healing inspiration for others.

Image Credit:  Forgiveness, by Mario Sanches Nevado. wayfair.com

Jean Raffa’s The Bridge to Wholeness and Dream Theatres of the Soul are at Amazon. Healing the Sacred Divide can be found at Amazon and Larson Publications, Inc. Jean’s new Nautilus Award-winning The Soul’s Twins, is at Amazon and Schiffer’s Red Feather Mind, Body, Spirit. Subscribe to her newsletter at www.jeanbenedictraffa.com.