Respect for the Goddess archetype in her aspect as Crone may still be scarce in the Western world, but she remains a reality within the psyche. Many people who carefully attend to their inner life report experiencing significant encounters with wise old women, especially in dreams, but also in waking fantasies and visions. Jungians interpret these as important indications of the ego’s willingness to accept the guidance of the unconscious feminine which indwells us all.
Thirty years ago I made the decision to take my inner life seriously enough to work on my dreams. The tenth dream I recorded presaged a turning point in my life that would come about because of that choice. Here is a brief summary:
Dream # 10A: Gifts From the Crones.
I’m visiting a foreign, forbidden place, like a kibbutz. I feel guilty and afraid and know I will have to sneak out illegally. Dorene [a wise and admired professor friend in waking life who is married to a Jewish man] is working here and I’ve brought gifts for her. She’s with three or four older women, grandmothers perhaps. They’re sitting cross-legged on the floor dressed in flowing, earth-colored, ethnic-looking clothes. Plump and solid, with heads wrapped in turbans fashioned from natural fibers, they seem serene and benevolent.
To my surprise, they hold out gifts for me — small, loosely woven bags overflowing with sweet-smelling herbs and spices. I say their gifts to me are so much better than mine to them and know it to be true. I look forward to using them in the future.
I want to avoid the guards at the check point at the train station, so I leave by sneaking in the back door of a dark theater and crawling through on my hands and knees. I’m nervous about this surreptitious avoidance of the authorities, but full of confident, decisive energy.
Although I didn’t understand the full import of the dream at the time, today it seems clear. Here are my associations:
I’m in a place like a Jewish kibbutz (somewhere foreign and somewhat threatening to my conscious orientation: i.e., the unconscious). I’m met by an admired professor friend (symbol of my positive feminine side), and three or four crones (images of the wisdom and authority of the deep feminine). I’ve brought gifts (my strong desire to connect with, and show respect for, the contents of my unconscious); but, surprisingly, the elder women give me sweet-smelling herbs and spices (symbols of the feminine, nature-based mystery wisdom which awakens the body and its senses and brings physical and spiritual healing in natural, organic ways). The dream says I know the value of these gifts and look forward to using them in the future (I want to acquire the wisdom of the Great Mother and hope to use it wisely someday).
This dream planted the seeds for this blog some thirty years ago. It said I know (from the Greek word, gnosis, meaning knowing or knowledge, particularly intuitive, esoteric knowledge of spiritual truths) the value of these gifts. I want the wisdom of the Great Mother (from the Latin mater > matrimonium) and hope to use it wisely someday.
Matri. Gnosis. Matrignosis means “knowing Mother wisdom.” I made up the word when I started this blog over nine years ago but Dream Mother told me long before that that the Grandmothers were giving me gifts I would use some day. And I am. To name and write this blog, and to write four books about empowering the feminine principle in humanity.
Here’s another gift from Dream Mother. The dream ends with me crawling away through a darkened theater feeling guilty and nervous, yet confident and decisive. Why was I in a theater? I didn’t know at the time, (I was in the dark) but four years later, that tiny detail inspired the title for my second book about the inner life, Dream Theatres of the Soul: Empowering the Feminine through Jungian Dream Work.
A third gift was a new awareness of hidden beliefs and emotions that were blocking my growth. In the dream I felt anxious and nervous about being caught by the authorities. Who were these authorities, and why was I so afraid of them?
In those days I couldn’t see the patriarchal cloud of unspoken repressive attitudes and expectations for women under which I had lived all my life. I didn’t know I was intimidated by it. But deep within I felt I was breaking the Old King’s rules (the unspoken agreement of collective culture to discount femininity and the life of the unconscious) by entering this dark and foreign land, and I was afraid of ridicule and scorn. Thirty years later this fear has not completely left me, but I’ve made much headway and I’m still determined to overcome it.
Do you see why I trust the wisdom of my dreams? My ego could never come up with this stuff all by itself. And it happens often. Our ego selves are not alone. All we have to do is turn within where our teachers are waiting to bless us.
Being known and loved by the mysterious, benevolent grandmothers confirmed my worth. It touched me deeply that they were prepared for my arrival, wanted me there, loved me as I was, and offered their gifts freely.There were no strings, no reservations, no sense I had to behave a certain way or believe certain things to be acceptable.
Yes, I received this assurance from a dream. For some, this might invalidate its worth. But this would be a grave mistake. The archetypal feminine is an actual force within humanity that contains the potential to change and heal us and our world. My willingness to cooperate with it was all that was needed to spark a process of growth that still goes on. Even now, there are times when I need the reminder that I am good enough as I am, and entitled to be loved by my maternal Source. In retrospect I believe the unconditional love of this Source is the secret power of the crones’ gifts. Tapping into it may be the ultimate meaning of life.
Photo Credits: Google Free Images, Origins unknown.