Partnership With The Beloved


Sometimes we mistrust our instincts so much that we can only like ourselves to the extent that others esteem us. Sometimes we’re so afraid of our hidden emotions that we try to escape through intellectualizations or addictions that divert our attention.  Sometimes we shield ourselves by conforming to the letter of the law, or by letting conventional wisdom be our guide, thereby allowing others to define reality for us.  And sometimes, because we do not recognize our own deeply submerged beauty, we go to great extremes to manufacture surface beauty or become unhealthily attached to people who personify the beauty we believe we lack.
These behaviors are symptomatic of an unawakened Beloved. Insofar as she personifies the instincts, feelings, values and emotions we have forgotten, disowned, or not permitted ourselves to experience, awakening her is the last thing many egos want to do. Unfortunately, our shadows are powerful obstacles that prevent us from taking the heroic journey. As long as we ignore them to protect ourselves from pain we will remain separated from our true destinies: becoming the powerful and fulfilled individuals we were created to be.
It’s no wonder our poor ego is afraid. As the sleeping repository of unacknowledged feeling, the unawakened Beloved contains all the rage, resentment, and hatred we repress when we are abused or devalued;  all the sadness, self-pity, self-hatred, grief, loneliness, and despair we try to ignore when we are rejected or abandoned;  all the fear, dread, and terror of everything unknown and potentially harmful;  all the pain and conflict we want to avoid;  all the attraction to forbidden fruit we want to deny; all the contempt and revulsion, shame, humiliation, and remorse we would rather forget.
What our Lover needs to learn is that accepting and forgiving our true selves is the key to experiencing all the love and acceptance, kindness and compassion, friendliness and trust, forgiveness and devotion we have the potential to feel. Choosing to face and feel our fear and pain brings the joy and happiness, amusement, delight, bliss, sensual pleasure, rapture, and ecstasy for which we yearn. As the fairy tales tell us, when the Lover courageously persists in seeking the Beloved and awakens her with a kiss, the two can finally unite in a healing marriage characterized by deep intimacy, affection, and honesty.
Above all, this union is characterized by love, the great healing power in the universe. I do not mean intellectualized love, where we say loving words without having benevolent feelings.  Nor am I talking about that condition of lust and infatuation we call “being in love” in which we project our inner Beloved onto another and think we must physically have that other or die.  And I don’t mean the sentimental love that causes us to cry at the thought of animal cruelty or starving children “over there” when we can’t feel compassion for our own hunger, pain and suffering “in here.”
This love is active, not passive. It is a real passion for nurturing the psychological and spiritual development of ourselves as much as others.  Most of all, it is an emotional and physical reality, not just an intellectual ideal.  One who truly loves and knows s/he is loved learns to love from the heart and body, not just the head and mind. To love this way involves our breath, guts, hands, energy, the very cells out of which we are made.
What parts of yourself and your life do you love this way?  What parts do you find impossible to love?  Can you imagine loving these too?
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0 Responses

    1. How beautiful that she visited you in this perfect, exquisite dream to show you that you are loved! And what a lovely synchronicity that you read this post this morning.
      I’m feeling deeply loved today too and have a synchronicity of my own. I started reading Monika Wikman’s brilliant “Pregnant Darkness: Alchemy and the Rebirth of Consciousness” on the plane to the mountains yesterday and came to a section about the meaning of stars. She says imagination is the star in man, the symbolizing function that unites the opposites of spirit and body. I thought, “I want a star dream!” Then late last night I felt a strong need to sit out on the deck and absorb the cool air and beauty of this place. As I was gazing at the buckeye tree in our front yard that was silhouetted against the mountains and the night sky, I was struck by how beautiful and vibrantly alive this world is when suddenly a super bright shooting star zipped past the moon. All I could think was, “Thank you.”

  1. Hi Jean, Much of my journey this past year has been directed towards developing a better relationship with that inner Beloved. My walk through southern France woke me up to her existence. I am at more peace with myself as a result though there is much more yet to be done in “our” relationship. Thank you. 🙂

    1. Hi Robert. It’s so good to hear from you. It appears that you, Tallulah, and I are all waking up to Her existence in a newer, deeper, more vibrantly alive way. May we continue to court Her with the star of imagination, and may She continue to bring us peace. Thank you for stopping by.

  2. Love this post, Jeanie! I am sharing on my Facebook page. I’m not sure (technologically) how to reblog it on my blog. But if you can tell me how to do that, I would love to put it there as well.

    1. Thanks, Jenna. I’m not sure how to reblog it either, but I think it has something to do with the RSS feed. If you scroll all the way down to the end of this page you’ll see “RSS comments” and “RSS WP” in the blue strip at the bottom right corner. Try clicking on RSS and maybe it’ll tell you how to copy and post this on your page. Maybe someone else reading this can tell us exactly how to do this? Thanks for trying. Good luck.

  3. Dear Jeanie,
    I’m finally getting back to your blog after some computer problems!
    This post is so clear in addressing what has been at the heart of my own journey work, as well as with those seeking the resources of our retreat center. Your bog continues to be valuable resource for the circle work I have done for several years using Carol Pearson’s Awakening the Heroes Within. Your books are high on my recommendation list! Gratitude and Blessing, Julie

    1. Thank you, Julie. I’m sorry to hear about your computer problems, but thanks for coming back!! It feels wonderful to know that my books and blog are helpful to you in your important work at MorningStar! Warmest wishes, Jeanie

  4. I am trying to understand the Beloved archetype. Let me see if I understand you. Is the Lover the one loving and the Beloved the one loved? By definition the Beloved needs to be loved, to be loved by our Lover not by others. When the Lover rejects our Beloved in favor of others is when the trouble starts. Our Beloved then is unawakened and if our Beloved is unawakened, or not loved by our Lover, is that why the Beloved carries around all the unacknowledged feelings. By the Lover loving our Beloved, she becomes awakened and we have access to all of our feelings. What is the difference between the Beloved and the true self? Is the Beloved the true self? I thought the Shadow carried the unacknowledged feelings. I know I am not terribly knowledgeable. I hope I make sense. Sometimes I get confused with all the symbolism. I think I lean more toward the unelaborate, you know, the simple. I am just a simple person trying to grasp the profound. If I make any sense in my questioning then I may be a step closer to grasping these complicated concepts. If not, please help me out and I will ponder them some more.

    1. Hi jazzminey,
      Thanks for the great questions. I started a long answer a while ago and it turned into a blog post, so look for it to show up soon! Jeanie

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