Healing Polarized Relationships from Within


The Lovers, Remedios Varo

The reality is that healing happens between people. The wound in me evokes the healer in you, and the wound in you evokes the healer in me, and then the two healers collaborate. ~ Rachel Naomi Remen

My dear friends,

I hope you found safe and comforting ways to celebrate the Covid-19 version of Christmas and will continue to do so into the New Year. We had a wonderful day and now I’m taking some much-needed time to relax, read, and enjoy the reviews of The Soul’s Twins: Emancipate Your Feminine and Masculine Archetypes that are starting to come in. A sincere thank-you to everyone who has taken the time to write and post their reactions on Amazon and Goodreads or told me that they plan to. The knowledge that you are finding it to be useful and beneficial brings me great joy.

Since Amazon did not publish the following review written by author Ashen Venema, perhaps because she didn’t buy it from Amazon, I gladly share it here with you. Thank you, Ashen, from the depths of my grateful heart.

We have only one real shot at liberation, and that is to emancipate ourselves from within. ~ Collete Dowling

The Soul’s Twins, a timely theme, presented with deep caring for our fragile societies.

The Soul’s Twins by Jean Raffa is a labor of love, written with exquisite reason, sounding like a clear bell, about archetypes, inspired by C G Jung’s ideas. Within a crisp structure, the book focuses on four lunar feminine and four solar masculine principles working in all of us, irrespective of gender.

To begin with there is a well-designed Partnership Profile. Taking the profile test shows how solar and lunar energies proportionally operate in one’s life, and offers a personally meaningful way into the material that follows. Even those unfamiliar with the concept of archetypes can easily recognize the four feminine and their contrasting masculine energies, and how each, including their shadow aspects, are expressed in individuals and the collective.

Jean Raffa sums up how these expressions oscillate and clash through divisive cultural stereotypes, where people can be cruelly caught in frames that distort their truly felt sense of self. Recent decades have shown that no person fits the normative definition of the qualities assigned to men or women. Jean gives examples from myth, history and people in our contemporary society, where men embody nurturing tendencies and woman excel with combating qualities. Since the patterns of inner conflicts mirror the outer ones, the understanding of one’s own self goes a long way towards a well-functioning relationship.

The four lunar/solar pairs explored are mother/father, queen/warrior, mediatrix/sage and beloved/lover. Greater awareness of their expressions, and also their unexpressed aspects – the disowned gifts and dreams that were abandoned, and the futile resistance to one’s inner urge – can open space for a unifying archetype of partnership. Jean calls it ‘The Couple,’ a personalized version of Jung’s concept of the Self, which holds our human potential.

It’s a timely theme, presented with deep caring for our fragile social structures, reminding us that it is possible to have a marriage with one’s other, inner half, of learning to be in the lunar sphere, and act from a solar energy, of realizing the wholeness beneath polarities necessary for life, and of enduring the creative tension without falling into the abyss of divisions. We are tossed into the wild sea of humanity at constant war with itself. What truly sustains us are relationships across divides, based on love. And love is the all of it.

To contemplate the emotional energies that drive our lives develops greater tolerance and support for each other, which is imperative in our time. To this effect the book offers inspiration, insight and guidance, as well as poignant quotes and questions.

For readers keen to discover Jean Raffa’s sources, there are end notes and an extensive bibliography to follow up.

I read this book slowly over a period of three weeks, each night before sleep. My dreams were influenced by the consistent structure and tone of the book, which surprised. I tend towards rebellion, ambivalence, and am wary of too much order, basically everything that constrains my imagination. Here the clear arrangement was helpful in that it brought clarity to my dreams, maybe because I listened.

Ashen Venema

You can visit Ashen’s website here.

The first duty of love is to listen. ~ Paul Tillich

Happy New Year everyone. May inner reflection heal your polarized relationships with yourself and every form of otherness.

Jean Raffa’s The Bridge to Wholeness and Dream Theatres of the Soul are at Amazon. E-book versions are also at KoboBarnes And Noble and Smashwords. Healing the Sacred Divide can be found at Amazon and Larson Publications.com. Her new book, The Soul’s Twins, is available at Schiffer, Red Feather Mind, Body, Spirit and wherever books are sold. Subscribe to her newsletter at www.jeanbenedictraffa.com.

Join 5,851 other subscribers


10 Responses

  1. Wow, my dear Jean. Your quotes have blown my mind. Especially; from Paul Tillich: The first duty of love is to listen. And to read the description of your book by Ashen has taken my heart wholly.
    I have tried sometimes ago, to get your new book but was not successful. Now I will try it again to catch it up. We have to emancipate ourselves from within.
    Have a wonderful time and a healthy new year my adorable friend. Love and Light
    PS: I hope you and your husband were amazed with the Dickens movie.

    1. Thank you, Aladin. I love Ashen’s review too. It was so kind of her to write it. I think it’s an excellent summary of the basic themes of the book and my reasons for writing it. I want readers to be personally involved enough to reflect on their own lives and gain insights that are of practical use to them, especially with their relationships with others and the otherness within themselves. This is the kind of information that has been so valuable to me on my own journey and I love having the opportunity to share it.

      I’m so sorry you weren’t initially able to get The Soul’s Twins from Amazon. I heard from a woman in Scotland who pre-ordered it two months before it was released and just received it two days ago!! I don’t know what the problem was but they have it now and you should have no problem. I hope you’ll let me know what you think of it once you’ve read it.

      Fred and I loved “The Man Who Invented Christmas!” Not only was it fascinating to know more about Charles Dickens’ back story, but it was also very well-written and well-acted. Thank you again for recommending it.

      Wishing you a happy and healthy new year too, my friend! Jeanie

  2. What a wonderful review written from the heart of a wise woman. She’s captured its essence so well. Listening is truly an art.

    1. Thanks, Susan. Yes, I also thought Ashen captured its essence beautifully. You can tell she took a lot of time to listen to what The Soul’s Twins was saying, and then a lot more to put what she heard into just the right words to express her thoughts about it. To be heard and reflected upon like that is a true gift from someone who understands “the first duty of love.” Happy New Year, Jeanie

  3. How wonderful, that you like my review enough to post it here. Thank you.
    I wish this book with its timely and poignant information the best success.
    Blessings for you, and yours, with health and light throughout the New Year.

    1. Dear Ashen, It is I who must thank you. It’s obvious how much time and thought you put into this review. It reveals a depth of commitment, scrupulousness, and kind-hearted, respectful listening that is rare. I’m honored. Thank you.

      With warmest wishes for a blessed, healthy and prosperous 2021.


  4. What a beautiful review by Ashen. I agree with it wholeheartedly. Amazon did not print my review either, and I did buy my copy at Amazon. Perhaps, because my blurb is on your webpage, Jeanie. However, I am going to contact Amazon to find out what the problem is.

    Much love and hopes for a well-deserved success of an extraordinary book…


    1. Hi Jenna,

      I think it’s a beautiful review too. Ashen is a very good writer. I’m reading her book, Course of Mirrors, now and enjoying it very much. I bought it from Amazon. I wonder if they will accept my review of it when I write it. It’s a mystery. Maybe you can get to the bottom of it.

      Thank you for your love and good wishes for The Soul’s Twins. I’m looking forward very much to your new book.

      Happy New Year!

  5. A beautiful review by Ashen, Jeanie. I didn’t know Amazon wouldn’t accept reviews if the book wasn’t bought there. That’s a new mystery. Your book is wonderful and illuminating. I hope to integrate your technique with a study of my marriage or a study of my transforming relationship to the animus. This is a bigger project than the review on Amazon. Possibilities simmer as I find myself in an unproductive period. Christmas was sad this year and the political situation is exhausting. But then there are the Red-bellied Woodpeckers and Cardinals at the bird feeder and my canine buddies, so I’m fine, the days will get longer, and the headlines will change. I want to celebrate a new president and new cycle on Jan. 21. Love and gratitude to you, Elaine

  6. Hi Elaine.

    It’s my understanding that Amazon will publish some books that haven’t been bought from them, but prefer ones that are. And I think they’re wary because of a spate of “fake” reviews in the past. Is nothing sacred any more?

    Anyway, if I haven’t thanked you for your review, I’ll do so now. The last two weeks have been kind of crazy and I’ve let lots of things I want to do slip through the cracks… Thank you so much for your support and kind words, and for getting your review up so quickly! You and Skip were among the very first. Thank you, my dear and loyal friend.

    If you decide to integrate my technique for your next book — I assume you mean how the chapters all follow the same format? — I’ll be honored. This is my first book that’s quite that consistently organized within each chapter, although Healing the Sacred Divide did have a subtle internal congruence within each section in Part II. I find it helpful to have an underlying structure in mind, especially with a mind like mine which tends to go all over the place. I have to work hard to corral those horses! With my first book I was halfway through writing it before I found its skeleton. A lovely surprise!

    I felt some melancholy too in the days before Christmas….so many old memories coming to mind, so many losses….but most of that was gone when the day arrived. Being able to see the children and grandchildren, even if I couldn’t hug them, helped enormously. And now that I’ve had my first vaccine shot, with one more to go in two weeks, that pall is starting to lift.

    Like you, I’m ready to celebrate the new cycle! Bring it on, 21!

    Love, Jeanie

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Recent Posts