Dreams: Your Personal Treasure Trove


For the last 30 years, dreamwork has been my primary psychological and spiritual practice. Nothing has brought me as much self-knowledge, self-acceptance, meaning, and all-around life satisfaction as remembering, recording, analyzing, ritualizing, and journaling about my dreams.

My dreams are my personal treasure trove. They have known me better and guided me more surely toward my true gifts than any human seer or counselor could possibly do. They have been wiser than any teacher, more valuable than material possessions, more constant than any friend, more affirming of what’s true and important to me than any compliment, mirrored reflection, or admiring glance I’ve ever received. Had I not discovered this hidden wealth within me, none of the accomplishments I hold most dear—not my loving relationships with my family, my mentoring of my students, my books and other writings, or my spiritual growth—would have been possible.

Knowing of my passion and long experience working with my dreams, two weeks ago, Tzivia Gover, Director of the Institute for Dream Studies founded by Justina Lasley, hosted me as a speaker for an online class with her international group of students. I was asked to talk about my new book, The Soul’s Twins, with its emphasis on the feminine and masculine archetypes and how they can appear in dreams. After my talk we had a lively Q & A session. Tzivia wrote today to tell me that her students were still discussing some of the topics and had a few more questions for me. I’m sharing my answers here for other like-minded souls.

Q: How did you make the transition in your late thirties when you underwent a spiritual dark night and shifted your focus from the outer world of achievement and conformity to the authentic inner life of the psyche? What challenges did you have to overcome? How was this beneficial in the long run?

The transition was long, slow, and difficult. It began with an experience that awakened an instinct that had been relatively unconscious until that time. It centered around a painful conflict between two very real and valid parts of myself. The part that felt new, scary, and bad (my instinct) wanted to act. The part that had always been “good” and proper and careful and conforming—and felt rather proud of herself for being that way (my ego)—most certainly did not want to act! The problem was that both sides were extremely compelling and both choices would have been intolerable.

Until that time, I had believed I was doing everything right. For the first time I was faced with challenges to the persona I had carefully built over the years and could not dismiss them with self-discipline and will power. My religion was no longer a helpful guide. Prayer didn’t take my problem away. My major challenge was to face my spiritual questions and doubts and have it out with my God-image, who was really my church’s God-image, not mine, although I didn’t realize that at the time. These internal dialogues kept me awake for hours many nights.

Another challenge was to carry on normally by day without allowing my suffering to infect my family life and work. A third was to think through all the possible scenarios that could result from either choice without taking any impulsive actions I might later regret. A fourth was to trust a tiny intuition that this was all happening for a reason. A fifth was to tolerate the tension of clarifying my conflict and persevering until the solution arrived. When it did after about six months of this, I chose to go against convention and honor my instinct.

Once I was firm in my intention and made that original choice, the conflict was resolved by outer circumstances beyond my control. Acting on my decision was no longer an option. I felt cheated, betrayed, abandoned, mistreated, abused, and deserted by my God. My grief was intense. I suffered the deepest anguish I’ve ever felt for about two years without allowing my suffering to hurt anyone else. This was my trial by fire, and it lasted nine years.

During that time I began to experiment with trusting my instincts and pressing needs more often. I also became aware of a new God-image of compassion and love that was emerging in me, although I often failed in my intention to put love first in my everyday life. I still do. I faced and endured many agonizing conflicts because I wanted to protect the realities of my inner and outer life at the same time without betraying either one. When I discovered Jungian psychology and my dreams, I finally quit a job I hadn’t liked for years and started my first book about the inner life. That’s when the light started streaming back in.

As for the benefits, I’ve answered that question above. The fact that I’ve discovered my calling and befriended many of my dragons doesn’t mean I no longer have conflicts or flaws. It just means I’m much better at forgiving myself and seeing, facing, and resolving them quickly.

Q: Can you say more about the discoveries you uncovered when exploring the feminine approach to the hero myth?

I learned the hero myth is not about acquiring the outer trappings of success in the eyes of the world. That’s been patriarchy’s interpretation for thousands of years. It’s really a story about your masculine side (usually your conscious ego), cooperating with your feminine side (your soulful, feeling self), so that together these parts of you can find the courage to uncover and befriend the forces of ignorance in your own unconscious.

I learned it’s okay to have a shadow and to experience conflicts with it. Everyone does. And it’s never as bad as you think it is at first.

I learned that just because my religion and family and country have definite ideas about right and wrong doesn’t necessarily mean their views are correct or good for me. I realized that the point of the hero’s journey isn’t to kill my dragons–my shadow, instincts, and true feelings–but to build a relationship with them based on trust and compassion for myself and respect for their differing realities. Because they’re the ones guarding my treasure. And until I get past them by approaching them in peace and friendship—carrying on dialogues with them, and accepting their qualities as mine—I’ll never gain access to it.

Tzivia’s students at the Institute for Dream studies have two more questions about archetypes, but this is already too long so I’ll answer them next time. Dreamers, please know that it’s true that your treasures lie within. You are courageous warriors to seek them, and I salute you. This post and the next are dedicated to you.

Image credits: Dream, artist unknown, Google Images. St. George and the Dragon, Rogier van der Weyden.

Jean Raffa’s The Bridge to Wholeness and Dream Theatres of the Soul are at Amazon. E-book versions are also at KoboBarnes And Noble and Smashwords. Healing the Sacred Divide can be found at Amazon and Larson Publications, Inc. Her new book, The Soul’s Twins, will be launched next year.

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8 Responses

  1. Thanks Jeanie for reaffirming the conflicts we face and having the courage to approach them in friendship and love by using one’s own dreams particular to one’s own self. As you say, the problem after engaging in various scenarios is: ‘The problem was that both sides were extremely compelling and both choices would have been intolerable’. Both sides by acting on them would have felt like a betrayal … and the third and most significant betrayal would have been betrayal to one’s self had one not had an inner guidance and trusted in those images and messages, thereby transcending the 2 fixed positions.

    1. Yes, exactly. You always think it’s either/or, but it isn’t. There’s always a better way between opposite fixed positions, and it takes time, patience, trust, and staying present to both sides before you can find that way. These are the ingredients that cook the dough and magically turn it into the fragrant, fresh, edible bread of life!
      Thanks for your always understanding and thoughtful comments.

  2. Hi Jean,
    I just finished reading your book, “Bridge to Wholeness” and I loved the fairy tale about the lily and the rose. Since I started paying attention to my dreams more systematically a few years ago (in large part because of your blog and “Dream Theatres”), I see changes in my dream-attitudes towards “the masculine”. At first, my dreams were full of scorn and weak characters. It took me a while to see the pattern. Once I did, I began to consciously examine my attitudes towards “the masculine”, and how these attitudes related to my past, and present waking life. It has been fascinating to watch the evolution in my dreams. I rarely have scornful dreams now, and I see that a powerful “feminine” is emerging, as well as a more tender attitude towards “the masculine”. I agree that we need to integrate all aspects of ourselves, and your work is helping me to do that! Thank you for your honesty and openness in your writing. It’s also quite helpful to know that your time on the island took many years, and that you have to revisit it from time to time.

    1. Oh, Pamela. Your letter warms my heart. I’m thrilled to know that my work has been so helpful to you. I can tell you from long experience that you are on the healing path, and that if you keep working with your dreams like this, you’ll keep growing and feeling better about yourself and your relationships. Brava! And thank you. You’ve made my day! Love and blessings on your journey, Jeanie

  3. Thanks for sharing this. As I practice learning to hear with a cochlear implant, I can listen to podcasts and talks on line. I don’t always need more than my nearly daily dose of human interaction, but as I get better at this, I’ll have more capacity for listening in a more relaxed way. All that being said, is it possible to get a copy of your conversation with Tzivia? (No hurry because I have something more important ahead of that in the queue. 😉 I just don’t want to forget to ask.) I’m grateful you deep initiation revealed your calling.
    I also rely on dreams and learn from talking about them with others. I rarely have frightening dreams, but after more than 2 weeks without a dream during an anxious period in my family life, I had a nightmare. It became clear when exploring the images with a dream therapist that I had to face my level of self-doubt at a deeper level. Self-forgiveness and kindness were the keys. Then, not long after, I had the most uplifting dream of a Blue Morpho Butterfly. The inner balancing act goes on.

  4. I’m so glad you’re able to listen to podcasts now! What a miraculous change this implant is making in your life. I’m afraid we didn’t record the talk I had with Tzivia and her students. It was live on Zoom…sort of like having a Skype conversation with someone. I imagine there must we some way those can be recorded, though.
    Inner balancing act, indeed. It’s always going on in me too, and my dreams always bring the necessary regulatory energy and information to help me recenter. For a while, anyway!
    What a perfect gift the Blue Morpho Butterfly was for you — a reward from the universe, perhaps, for all the mothering you’ve done with your precious Monarchs. 🙂 Reward dreams are my favorite. I had one recently that let me know that all my work with my new book has brought about positive growth in me. Nothing anyone else could ever say about my work could possibly have made me feel better because it didn’t come from my ego or anyone else’s. Dreams like this are pure gold for the soul. Thanks for stopping by.

  5. Hi Jean,
    Thanks for your discussion in our IDS dream-group meeting. I especially enjoyed your take on the feminine approach to the hero myth and that every archetype exists within us all regardless of our biological gender. In that light, I found your phrase “conquering by befriending” most insightful to the conflicts that arise in my dream work. Thanks!

    1. You’re most welcome! I enjoyed meeting you all very much. I’m so glad you resonated with “conquering by befriending!” As you have no doubt intuited, it applies to every aspect of life, but most importantly to your approach to your true self and your inner conflicts represented by your dream characters. I wish you all the best with your dream work and future endeavors! Blessings, Jeanie

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