Have I Told You Lately That I Love You?


Dear Matrignosis Friends,

As I thought about this letter over breakfast, it wasn’t long before the word love popped up and started waving its arms to get my attention.  Then a melody began running through my head. Who knew words and melodies have arms and legs? In the language of writers, I assure you, they do.

At my desk, my fingers flew across my keyboard—thoughts and fingers have wings too—and I found what I wanted. I listened, and it began raining in my heart. And on my cheeks. (And hearts and eyes can rain.)

Until then I hadn’t known what I wanted, but music has a way of grabbing your attention and shouting to make itself heard. (Music has hands and fists and mouths and vocal chords. It wants to be known and responded to.)

And so I decided to share it with you. Because I don’t know what else to say about the fact that I’m not sure how much longer we’ll be meeting here. Let me reassure you. There’s nothing to worry about. I’m fine…not sick or anything. Nothing bad at all going on. It’s just that everything has a season and I feel one cycle ending and another beginning.

I sense the next cycle will be easier in some ways, harder in others. I have a new (18 year-old) manuscript to bring to closure and birth, and that’s always fun and exciting—when the technology involved isn’t driving me nuts. And a few other ultimately rewarding projects await my full attention. But these things will necessitate me showing up less here, at our favorite meeting place. And this is very hard!  After all, we’ve been going steady for seven years.

I’m not leaving for good, but I’m pretty sure we’ll be seeing each other less from now on. At least during the next cycle. So I couldn’t just leave without letting you know and telling you how I really feel.

Our relationship has been a major highlight in my life.

I’ll miss you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you. I honestly love you.





Join 5,846 other subscribers


53 Responses

  1. Jeanie,
    I love the machinations of Love.
    By following YOUR Bliss, you have held the light up so I can see, understand and finally be grateful for my own path.
    I look forward to what your next cycle brings for you because I know that somewhere in the intricate web of life there will be something luminous for me.
    I will have my antennae up!

    1. Thank you, sweet Cindy. There surely is something luminous awaiting you. It’s already in you and as long as you keep taking the next step which has to be taken, it will be revealed to you. XXOO Jeanie

  2. Jean, the first thought that came to me, after reading this was: spring has sprung. Love you, too, Diane

  3. Dear Jeanie – all of the best for your new cycle.
    Your goodbye reminds me of the Ho’oponopono mantra
    May this be our parting gift
    Love & Light Dalene
    Sent from my iPhone

  4. Enjoy your next cycle! Whenever you pop in will be a delightful, unexpected treat! Blessings and much love to you on your continuing journey.

  5. When I read those words, I hear Van Morrison’s voice. “Have I told you lately….”
    Thanks for letting us readers know about taking a step back from blogging to work on your book.

  6. For all you are, all you have been and all you will be, Jeanie I give thanks.
    I’m looking forward to your insights when the new ms comes to fruition. However I’m going to have to find something else to fill my Tuesday mornings from now on! Maybe I’ll take up the Uke!

    1. As Dorothy whispered to the Scarecrow, “Don’t tell anyone, but you’re one of those I’ll miss most of all!” 🙁 You were one of my earliest and most consistent Matrignosis friends. Your poetry, which I’ll keep reading, has inspired and resonated with me so much through the years. Please keep posting it so I can follow where your journey is taking you. As for taking up the Uke, I bet you’d love it. See you on Facebook Brian…..

    1. Oh, my dear, Roberta! You really know how to open my floodgates, don’t you. I’ve been tearing up all morning but that did it! Excuse me while I go get more tissues. Thank you, sweet Matrignosis sister.

      1. Aw, you’re the sweet one dear Jeanie. As someone once told me when I was tearful leaving a workplace to move into a new life phase of stay home mummy, we always have the people who made us – we’ll always have you and you have us in your heart. I love the movie ‘In her shoes’ especially because I’ve daughters and never had a sister. The part where they recite the e e cummings poem ‘I carry your heart in my heart’ never fails to floor me. Take care Jeanie and enjoy your next phase xoxo

  7. Jeanie, While I dislike “seeing” you less here at Matrignosis where we first met, I do know where to contact you for a chat via email or by phone. But as I shared with you on your FB page, I’ve been humming “Have I Told you Lately That I Love You?” all morning…before seeing your blog post with this title! I don’t know about you, but I would take that as validation from the universe that you’re on the right track. Just like I know when I’ve made up my mind about something and some word or phrase or image or event pops up to give me a “Thumbs up!” I’m excited about your writing projects and looking forward to more Jean Raffa wisdom in book form that I can take my time and soak up in several inspiring pages at once.
    I do love you, synchronicity sister, so I’m telling you now ~

    1. Dear Jenna,
      No matter how often it happens, it just blows me away how these synchronicities occur between us so often, especially around music. Remember how the day Leonard Cohen died we were both listening to “You Want it Darker” before we knew he was gone? What more proof do we need that we are definitely pursuing parallel tracks that are so obviously right for us? Another astonishing example you’re welcome to use in your book on synchronicity. I can’t wait for it to come out!
      Thanks so much for your sweet words, and for all your wise and wonderful words to me here over the years. Yes, we do have Facebook. Thank goodness for the Internet!!
      I do love you too, Jenna!

  8. I am especially sad to see you less than usual as it was your comment about my blog post that renewed my faith and hopes for my own blog, set up only weeks before you re-Tweeted my link. I’ve been less frequent myself but am still moving forward, as I too, struggle to balance my blog with my manuscript (as yet unfinished) I love you too. Miss you already. You are the wind beneath my wings…..

    1. Oh, Marilyn. How I love the thought of being the wind beneath your wings! I’m so glad to know I was helpful to you. I wish you the very best with your blog and manuscript! Thank you, sister. Fly high and strong. Jeanie

  9. Crossing over
    into the unknown,
    crossing over
    from a secure land
    to one whose roads
    I have never walked.
    Companion and Guide,
    you are my transition coach.
    You say to me:
    “Cross the bridge.
    Go ahead, come on over.
    It’s sturdy enough.
    Don’t look down, though,
    or you might get terrified
    and never walk across.
    Don’t look back too long
    or you will lose your courage
    and want to stay
    right where you are.
    Hang on. Keep going.
    That’s what bridges are for,
    to get you to the other side.
    Trust me to protect you.”
    For all of us in transition
    who have bridges to cross,
    bless us, Journeying Companion
    gift us with the desire to go ahead.
    Help us to trust
    That the bridge will be strong
    and the risk will be worth it.
    Joyce Rupp Out of The Ordinary
    May your bridge be strong, may your crossing be smooth, may the next country fill you with energy.
    Thank you for sharing this news with us.:)

    1. What an exquisite poem. And very apt on many levels. Thank you Catherine, for the poem, for your readership, and for sharing your warm, generous spirit with me and our sister and brother travelers at this resting place on our travels. For the moment I’ll rest in this prayer: “Help us to trust that the bridge will be strong and the risk will be worth it.”

  10. Dear Jeannie, the loss of your Tuesday morning posts will be sorely missed by me. They’ve provided sustenance to me over the years. I feel the loss already. I guess I can go back to previous posts and audios –
    I wish you so well in your focus on birthing the manuscript! May all your projects come to fruition and find their way onto the outer world. Thank you for sharing yourself so generously over the years, for all who you are and continue to be –
    Much Love, Susan.

    1. Thank you, Susan, for your ongoing support, affirmation, blessings and good wishes over the years. You’ve been a well and wealth of comfort to me. Again, congratulations on birthing your new book. I send my love and blessings to you on this newest phase of your journey, and look forward to reading and sharing it when time and life permit. Love, Jeanie

  11. Dear Jeanie, as soon as you spoke of your strong desire to return to your uncooked, unpublished Soul manuscript many weeks back, I felt instinctively that you were to be pulled away in other directions … and rightly so! Go grab your pinafore, fetch the resourceful utensils you require, let it all slip away because Dear Soul Sister you’re being called back to the Goddesses’ kitchen!
    Like all, I will greatly miss your beautiful, inspirational posts, however, I shall in its place, turn to the wealth you generously leave us here on your beloved Matrignosis … a virtual, treasure-house of deep spiritual riches! A small poem of mine wants to say hello today, I call it, “A Nod to All Poets” as you roll up your heavenly sleeves to create once more with the Great Mother herself.
    Our pens scratch
    at simple words,
    we share them
    in everyday silence.
    Yet here bread
    is still broken,
    wine ever spilt,
    souls gathered
    and poetry made.
    Have I told you lately that I love you? Feel my heart in yours Jeanie. How I bless the day I discovered your blog! Thank you so much for sharing your love and support with my own poetry blog. Sending you love, light and abundant laughter for the next sequence of your eternal journey, me I’m off to reunite those celestial (Tarot) Lovers! Love and blessings always, Deborah.

    1. Yes, your intuition was spot on, Deborah. I’ve been pulled in too many directions for some time now. The pot has been simmering in the Goddesses’ kitchen (I LOVE that!) and I’ve been hanging around, turning down the heat, giving it a stir, doing the washing up, walking away then checking back while I waited for the ingredients to combine and the knowing to emerge. I sensed it on Monday and slept on it. By Tuesday I just knew. There were no dreams, no voices or visions, no mental contortions, no emotional hand-wringings…just a gentle nudge in the direction that felt right.
      Your exquisite poem captures this process perfectly! Thank you. I’m going to copy it by hand and display it in” a prominent place on my desk. Do I have your permission to add a subtitle: “In the Goddesses’ Kitchen” for inspiration? It will just be for me.
      I am so very touched by the beauty and depth of your writing, both poetry and prose. To me it reflects one of the most sincere, gentle, innocent and pure souls I’ve ever had the privilege to know. Thank you for gracing Matrignosis and me with your presence. Sending you the same love, light and abundant laughter as you reunite your soul’s Lovers.
      Love always, Jeanie

      1. Dear Jeanie, Know this poet’s heart glows with joy! Tis such an honour, thank you! “In the Goddesses’ Kitchen” I love it, an impeccable title. Follow your inner star dear sister, let your moonlight soul shine brightly! Enjoy Her kitchen, it’s where love is made too. xx

  12. Dear Jeanie, Thank you for your many meaningful posts that were filled with so much love and wisdom. Good luck with your manuscript. You are such a blessing! Love, Enid

  13. I get it, Jeanie. I love you, too. As you know, I just decided to write 2 blogs a month rather than 4 or 5 per month because time feels limited, I need more time for inner work and political work, and, most important, I’m cooking with new material that commands and demands my attention. I’m glad you’re well and I hope your family is, too. I think backing off from a weekly blog is a wonderful experiment that makes way for the creative juices to flower in new ways. And if you/we miss blogging more often, we can step back up again.
    I’ll miss your weekly messages. Your blog has achieved a wonderful climax in your work with the Sacred Marriage or Conjunctio. It’s all about love. (And how I do miss music and its language of love.)

    1. Yes, your reasons were all part of my decision too. I think I’ll come back from time to time, but I’m not really sure. I’m just following my nose here, and don’t have a plan. It all depends on what happens with the book. At the moment I’m struggling with huge computer problems that are making it extremely difficult to get anything done in a timely manner.
      In fact, all my electronic devices are giving me fits: earlier today I had to take my car in for service because the electronic system is totally out of whack; my cell phone got wet a few days ago (I’m too embarrassed to tell you how) and it took 24 hours in a bag of rice to recover (seems to be okay for now), computers and printer have been troublesome for weeks, partly because of a new router, and partly because of serious compatibility problems between my Mac and Microsoft Word Track Changes which have my Mac freezing up and having to be restarted regularly, and who knows what else. It’s really quite bizarre. Is Mercury in retrograde or something?
      Whatever it is, I seem to be getting a serious message from the universe about patience, trust, acceptance of what is, and assuming responsibility for my technical equipment instead of always expecting Fred to take care of that part of my life for me. I remember from your book how much you struggled with things like that after Vic died, and if I should ever find myself in that situation I want to be prepared. Anyway, whether the message is intentional or not, I know what it is: “Wake up, Princess! It’s well past time you grew up in every area of your life. Not just the ones you’re good at and enjoy.” 🙂
      Thank you for your observation about my work with the Sacred Marriage. I hadn’t quite tied that in with my recent emphasis on relationships and love. But yes, it does seem to have achieved a fitting climax. Hmmm….what a wonderful insight!!
      Sending you so much gratitude for your active participation with Matrignosis. It’s meant very much to me.
      Love, Jeanie

  14. dear and divine Jeanraffa ,
    Eyes can only see 180 degrees , but love can see 360 degrees in time and beyond time , in time is what you write with your inner values and beyond time is the what you feel , although time flies , we may not have social conversations on blog for long times but one always carries impressions of certain human beings who inspire you and there may not be the time to tell them thank you or we love you now and we will love you always and to with my humble gratitude wants to whisper …… you are one of them , you are truly a magic on the wordpress and in the world .
    thanks for sharing your wisdom with us
    p.s. …. today only I was reading one of your article on creativity , a glimpse on a part …..
    The psychological realities of each soul are as unique as our fingerprints. Creativity is about manifesting that uniqueness. We activate our creativity by pursuing self-knowledge and personal meaning. We hone our creativity by following our passions regardless of the world’s opinions; by sacrificing popularity and approval for self-knowledge and authenticity; by creating original works of art out of our lives. By becoming who we are.

    1. Dear Ram,
      Thank you. Your gentle spirit and deep capacity for love never fail to touch and inspire me. Though we have never met and probably never will, I feel I know your soul. You bless the world just by being in it.
      With sincere love and gratitude for your wisdom and support over the years,

  15. We are part of all we have met…and they a part of us. Blessings on your renewed focus on your book. Your loving spirit and heart will stay with us, and we will look forward to future insights. Love, Sandy

  16. So wonderful of you to communicate your thoughts and your love.
    Yes, it’s a little sad to think you won’t be around so much, but mostly I feel joy for you that you are enthused about the next phase. And I can’t wait to see what juicy creative wonders come out of it….
    <3 Kat

  17. Jeanie: I haven’t checked here in a while, so this letter came as quite a shock! Of course, nothing last forever, but I hope you’re taking steps to keep these posts available for posterity. At the very minimum, someone could throw them all in a Kindle book or 8 of them (considering the amount of writing here), and then Amazon will keep them forever green for you. I’ll watch with interest for your net book. I remember the last one! Best regards, Skip

    1. Thanks for the advice and good wishes, Skip. I expect to continue posting here from time to time. We’ll see. Just following my nose right now.
      As for keeping these posts available, I’m counting on WordPress being around for a long time, but meanwhile I’m making copies just in case. I’ve thought of compiling my most popular posts for a Kindle book or two, and even made a list of the top 100. But once a post is written I’d rather spend my time on something creatively challenging— like writing another post or revising this old/new manuscript I’m working on—than on the mechanical and technical aspects of putting a book together. Maybe I should hire an assistant. 🙂

  18. Hi Jean,
    I just found your blog through some googling about Jungian dream work. When I read this post, I felt immediately at home here, and have been exploring your writing from the beginning. I am sad to see that you are taking a break here, but happy to have 7 years of material to explore. So much of what I have read resonates so deeply with me.
    I have recorded dreams on and off in the past, but haven’t had much guidance where the symbols are concerned. After reading a few posts about archetypes and symbols for the Self, I had a dream absolutely full to the brim of symbols. I felt like it was my dreamself saying, finally, she is learning the language! Now we can get to work!
    Thank you for writing, and for being vulnerable enough to share yourself with the world. I look forward to learning more here, and in your books.

    1. Dear Pamela,
      Thank you for taking the time to let me know Matrignosis is helping you understand your dreams. This makes me feel absolutely wonderful! Dreamwork has been my ‘royal road to the unconscious’ (to quote either Freud or Jung; the saying is attributed to both of them!), and opened up an exciting new world to me. Exploring it is the adventure of a lifetime.
      Sending you my very best wishes for an enriching and empowering journey!
      Blessings, Jeanie

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Recent Posts