Kris Kristofferson: Midlife Mentor
At the age of 35 I had a wonderful family, good health, a comfortable lifestyle, and a master’s degree: everything a woman could want. Right? You’d think so. But I felt painfully unfulfilled. What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I just be happy? I felt like an ungrateful wretch.
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Reblogged this on lampmagician.
Thank you. ?
Jean, your reflections and gentle truthfulness are extraordinarily helpful for me at this time. Gratefulness and affection wing their way to you . 🙂
Thank you, my sister from “down under.” By the way, I love that name for Australia. It makes me feel like I’m communicating with the depths, and its messages are always so kind and affirming.
This happens to me a lot, too. Thanks for sharing.
My pleasure. It’s hard to believe in yourself when you’re taught to believe in “authorities.” Of course you have to do your homework and learn what you need to learn, but you’d think after 25 years it would be easier to trust your own authority, wouldn’t you?
Another bingo! Trusting your own authority! Lovely post Jeanie thank you and an affirmation for me.
Thank you too, for your affirmation of me.
Possibly similarly instinct related, a couple of nights ago, in a work-based dream, I had an armadillo come and sit in my lap, it’s back feeling pleasantly cold and metallic and an earthy smell about it. I was aware of the oddness but felt at ease with it. And felt an ocean of calm in the organised chaos of the ward, which I will retire from in 6 months.
In a way it’s quite reassuring Jeanie, to hear you still having unsurities, and great to see the support from those who instinctively know your capabilities.
Hi Brian. What a very cool dream! Especially the part about feeling”” “an ocean of calm in the organized chaos of the ward.” That’s an enviable state of mind, indeed. It must have something to do with your utter comfort with your instinctive self. I love that. Yes, I am still having unsurities, but luckily, I also have Dream Mother and others
(Oops, I hit the “Send button on my iphone by accident before I was finished with that sentence)…who believe in me and help restore balance to my self-image!
Thank you for sharing your armadillo image, Brian. What’s so interesting about it is the fact that the armadillo is armored by a cold, metallic shell, yet felt comfortable sitting on a the lap of a human…a potential enemy. To me this says that my instincts trust me as much as I trust them; a truly reciprocal relationship of mutual trust. I wonder if this has anything to do with your other work of writing poetry. Since instincts are the mother of creativity, perhaps it could be said of this dream that Mother and Son have mutual love and regard for each other, and that this is the condition that produces your unusually beautiful and meaningful art?
Wonderful dream work as always, Jean. And I love how a simple ritual with the intention to hand it all over to Divine Dream Mother broke the tension and allowed you to trust. I have a similar conflict, along with many others with lots of intellectual training and less training in trusting the feminine. Thanks for your skill at holding the balance–and when we fall off the balance beam, your remind us we can climb back on again.
Thank you, Elaine. Yes, our love for ritual has served us both very well. Personally meaningful rituals have a way of reaching and healing the psyche in ways that logic alone cannot do. I love your metaphor of climbing back on the balance beam. It speaks to the persistence, presence and ongoing practice needed for the magnum opus of integrating our psyches and lives.