What is misogyny? Here’s a random sample of definitions and descriptions from the internet:

Misogyny is hatred of, contempt for, or prejudice against women or girls. It is a form of sexism that can keep women at a lower social status than men, thus maintaining the social roles of patriarchy. Misogyny has been widely practiced for thousands of years.

Misogyny is typically an unconscious hatred that men form early in life, often because of trauma from a female figure they trusted. A misogynistic male can be competitive with women, likes to control them sexually, and may suddenly leave the relationship without ending it.

Misogyny is belittling women or girls in conversation, such as using sexist nicknames or derogatory remarks. Seeking to control women’s behavior. Using intimidating or humiliating behavior to destroy a woman’s self-confidence and undermine her.

What are some effects of misogyny?

Treating women differently from men in social and professional settings. Threatening, aggressive, intimidating, or violent behavior. Pursuing unwanted sexual comments or advances, including catcalling, stalking, staring, touching, taking pictures without consent, exposure to sexual assault and rape.

Women do not only have to deal with the experience of abuse, but they also must cope with its mental health consequences: emotional distress, depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PSTD). Studies have shown that women experiencing abuse are at greater risk of mental health disorders.

This is no surprise to me or any woman in this country. It makes me furious at the men who blame the women they abuse, saying they were asking for it because they were all alone in an isolated place. Or because of the way they talked or dressed. Really? Asking to be abused by a man they hoped to get a little respect and kindness from? Are these men crazy? Are they stupid, selfish, and totally lacking in character and self-awareness? Are they clueless because they were abused by the brutal attitudes and behaviors of fathers who were themselves abused by a one-sided culture that devalues and fears all things soft, tender, receptive, and feminine?

I’ve never been raped, but I have been physically violated on five occasions when males pinched my bottom in situations where they hoped to get away with it. I’ve also experienced men being dismissive, patronizing, demanding,  controlling, and insistent in ways that made me very uncomfortable. They never seemed to realize it. You might think these things are harmless, but I don’t experience them as harmless. If you assume I must be overly sensitive to this issue, you may be right.

But I have good reason.

The same year I learned about rape I was given a dream in which my hero, the Lone Ranger shot me. (You can read a post about it here.) I see this now as a message from the Self, a calling to my soul’s purpose in life: to raise collective consciousness about the plague of misogyny. Years later I met the Jungian analyst Linda Leonard and her husband, a psychiatrist. He told me this dream image suggested sexual violation. Although I was not consciously aware of it, I had obviously absorbed the message from my culture that men, even heroes, could be violent and cruel and get away with it. Women, even kind and innocent ones, were victims. I knew this in my gut—the place where the Lone Ranger’s silver bullet shattered my innocence—and the wound has festered in my unconscious ever since.

Does this feel wrong to you? Does it make you angry?  I think it should. It does me. I hate how the misogynistic attitudes I’ve been exposed to all my life make me self-conscious around some men and wary of others. I hate worrying about whether men have critical thoughts or ulterior motives toward me. I hate how misogyny has stifled my voice and constrained my choices and actions. I hate that I carry around a deep well of hurt that I still can’t shake off. I hate that sometimes I project my anger onto men, and occasionally women, whose unconscious misogynistic attitudes still hurt me. And I hate what rampant misogyny has done to our country.

Misogyny is a poison as infectious, harmful, and pervasive as a pandemic. It destroys the body, mind, innocence, and soul of anyone exposed to it. And that’s pretty much all of us. It separates and divides. It pits not only males against females but also “our” people against “other” people who are different. I’m outraged at the elected men and women who are so contaminated by misogyny that they believe it’s their right to restrict the reproductive rights of women. This mentality gets more pleasure in controlling others than in healing or freeing them to serve the needs of their own bodies and families, to answer the calls of their own souls.

Most of all I’m deeply offended by the sanctimonious claims of misogynists who seem to truly believe they’re being “good Christians.” As if Jesus Christ himself would have sanctioned their poisoned laws and mentalities. Talk about deluded. Jesus was a rebel, a man who dined with prostitutes, who angrily repudiated usurious money lenders. He stood for love and the value of every single person, and it didn’t make any difference to him if they were lepers or adulteresses.

It’s not just women who suffer the poisonous effects of misogyny. All of us experience them. What’s your story?

(To be continued  . . . )

Art Credit: Antonio Polladuilo, (1470-1480) Wikipedia Commons

Jean Raffa’s The Bridge to Wholeness and Dream Theatres of the Soul are at Amazon. Healing the Sacred Divide can be found at Amazon and Larson Publications, Inc. Jean’s new Nautilus Award-winning The Soul’s Twins, is at  Amazon and Schiffer’s Red Feather Mind, Body, Spirit. Subscribe to her newsletter at www.jeanbenedictraffa.com.