Norman Rockwell
Note: The following post was first published in November, 2013. My book, Healing the Sacred Divide had been published in the previous year and many of my posts after that addressed the problem of healing conflicts between the opposites in ourselves and the world: feminine/masculine, conscious/unconscious, self/other, etc.
I offer this to you again at a time of year when Americans revisit the story of a harvest celebration in 1621 Plymouth, Massachusetts between 52 English settlers and at least 90 Wampanoag people. Partly truth, partly fiction, it’s meant to demonstrate the values of sharing and respecting the diversity of others who are different from us. Enjoy.
My Thanksgiving gift for you is a video about a very special young woman who can neither hear nor speak yet has an extraordinary gift of communication. Stacy Westfall is a bona fide horse whisperer who communicates with her body, heart and soul. Before you see her in action I want to tell you something about human-horse relationships.
Most people think working with horses is a one-way form of communication: the human does the training and the horse does the listening, learning, and responding to serve the human’s needs. Most riders and trainers love horses very much and train them with kindness and patience; others believe they need to “break” horses with bullying and brute force. Either type can achieve great success…from the perspective of the human ego.
But the truly inspiring horse whisperers like Stacy step out of their egos and into the horse’s perspective because they want partnerships that are as satisfying to the horse as the human. They don’t have special powers the rest of us lack. Their secret is quite simple. They let themselves be trained by horses. They notice and respect the otherness of horses—their desire to please us, their willingness to serve us—so they take the time to learn and use horse language. Horses are exactly the same in reverse. They are “human whisperers” who appreciate and respect our otherness, are acutely sensitive to our emotional nuances, try to learn our language, and let themselves be trained by us because they want intimate, satisfying relationships too.
The horse whisperer/human whisperer relationship is the best example of two-way partnership I know. You’ll see it going on between the horse and human in this video. Stacy is riding her horse with no saddle, stirrups, bridle, or reins. Yet she has other methods of communication. Look for her signals: hand pats and rubs, heel nudges, turning her head in the direction she wants her horse to take, shifting her body weight. Then watch for Wizard’s Baby Doll’s signals to her. Throughout the performance his mouth is licking and chewing, licking and chewing. Know what this means in horse language? He’s telling her he’s thoroughly bonded with her, is enjoying being with her, and is doing his absolute best to please her.
Watch his ears. When he’s alert and focused he points them forward. This tells Stacy he’s paying attention and ready to go. When she gives a signal he swivels one ear back toward her. He’s listening. When she asks him to do something that requires extra concentration and exertion, like spinning in circles or running backwards, he flattens them on his neck, indicating his agitation and determination.
Watch his tail. When he’s relaxed his tail is relaxed. When he’s asked to move sideways or kneel, his tail switches back and forth with increased intensity. And when he’s getting excited and probably a bit annoyed about the truly difficult things, he whips it up and down with some attitude. But he does what Stacy asks him to, then he licks and chews and pops his ears back to alert and all is well again. He does this for the same reason you push through your annoyance when doing the tough exercises your trainer or aerobics instructor asks of you. Because this partnership is important to you, you’re grateful for it, you want to do your best, and it feels good when you do.
The best way I know to show gratitude to our loved ones this Thanksgiving is to be a human whisperer: To pay attention to what they’re asking of us, notice the nuances of their communication styles, push through our annoyance, and try our best to be a good communicator and partner. May you allow yourself to be trained by your loved ones this Thanksgiving.
You’ll find the video here. Enjoy!
Paper and E-book versions of The Bridge to Wholeness and Dream Theatres of the Soul are at Amazon. The Wilbur Award-winning Healing the Sacred Divide can be found at Amazon and Larson Publications.com. Jean’s new Nautilus Award-winning The Soul’s Twins, is at Amazon and Schiffer’s Red Feather Mind, Body, Spirit. Subscribe to her newsletter at www.jeanbenedictraffa.com.
8 Responses
Thank you, Jeanie. I love this. For the second time, I cried from beginning to end as I watched the horse whisperer. Maybe it touches me so deeply because I’ve become so deaf and the closest thing I have to a horse is my dog who watches my eyes and my hands for direction. Disco Dog doesn’t do anything fancy like Stacy’s horse, but I think she could be taught. I’m grateful for Stacy’s parents who were wise enough to trust their daughter with a horse and let her develop this deep communication.
It looks like Thanksgiving Dinner may be a no-go here. After a three day destructive ice and snow storm that ended on Sunday after breaking plenty of branches and trees, we’re getting another weather system with sleet, snow, and intense persistent cold. Weather is fierce for November, but so much is strange in this world. My home is warm and stocked with food. Before the new snow begins this afternoon, I’ll go out to the forest with Disco and hope there aren’t too many broken trees. I’ll take tissues, just in case.
Love from the north country,
Elaine
I cried too. It’s so beautiful. Dogs are marvelous communicators too. Especially at showing love. I’m so sorry you’re having ice storms. It wouldn’t be much fun to go “Over the river and through the woods…” to your house for Thanksgiving or Christmas in that kind of weather! Our weather here is finally very pleasant. Twenty-five of us will be spending much of the time out on the back deck tomorrow afternoon, and having dinner in the house. I’ll have lots of help. Bad weather or not, you and I have much to be grateful for… especially our families, and work we love. I’m thankful for your friendship through the years. Love and gratitude from the Sunshine State. Jeanie
So beautiful, the video brought tears to my eyes! Thank you for sharing it Jeanie. I do remember watching Stacy a few years back. If you would like to learn more about the healing relationship between horses and humans, I think you’ll enjoy Angela Dunning’s beautiful book, “The Horse Leads the Way: Honoring the True Role of the Horse in Equine Facilitated Practice” Here’s a link to my in depth book review on Amazon UK: https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/customer-reviews/R1FLN2OVT2WJIY/ref=cm_cr_dp_d_rvw_ttl?ie=UTF8&ASIN=1911175483
Wishing you a wonderful thanksgiving with your family and loved ones! Thank you for writing your brilliant and beautiful book, “Healing the Sacred Divide” and all your other amazing books. Lastly, thank you so much for continuing to be a human whisperer! Love and light, Deborah.
You weren’t alone! It was extraordinary. I can’t imagine the time and effort it took the two of them to work out a routine as seamless as that, especially in time with the music. How does she do that? Somehow I’ve never heard of or read “The Horse Leads the Way.” I look forward to reading your review of it this weekend. Hosting dinner for 25 won’t leave me with much time to read it this afternoon or tomorrow. I’m very grateful for your friendship over all these years, Deborah. Your wise and generous spirit has been a real blessing to me! Love, Jeanie
Love this…and it truly works!
Happy Thanksgiving Jean to you and Fred and family. xojo
Thanks, Jo. It does work! Wishing you and your loved ones a happy, love -filled, and artful Thanksgiving too! Love, Jeanie
That is a gorgeous, instructive, and salutary video clip. Thank you for this, my dear wise teacher. Where could humans be when they were aware of the animals and nature as a whole to connect this whispering mutually? And where are we now?!
Stacy is extraordinary, though I wish we all could be like her.
Thank you again, lovely Jeanie, and I wish you and yours a happy Thanksgiving and a leisurely season.🥰🙏💖😘
Thank you too, Aladin, for your endless curiosity and openness. I think that as animals who feel fear, pain, joy, and love, humans, horses, dogs, cats, and other sentient beings instinctively share a sense of vulnerability, as well as camaraderie with each other. We all struggle to survive and most of us derive deep pleasure from close relationships with other sentient beings who bring us comfort and pleasure. It’s sad to think there will always be some who are so wounded that they’ve lost the capacity for caring, affection, and trust. Holiday blessings to you and yours. Jeanie