Coming Home to Feminine Spirituality



 I understand that an emerging name for blog is lifestream.  This seems very fitting.  It reminds me of one of the two most important dreams of my life.  This one came in January of 1989.  I had been teaching at a local university for ten years and was growing increasingly dissatisfied.  The previous year I had discovered Carl Jung, joined a Jungian study group, and embarked on a program of serious self-examination and dreamwork.  The insights I was gaining gave me the courage to consider giving up teaching to do something I really loved, but this was a very difficult step for me.  Then I had this BIG dream.

Dream #155:”Going Against the Current.”

I’m walking downstream in a wide, rushing river beside a rocky bank.  People are shooting by on rafts and I wonder how they keep from bashing themselves against the rocks. I decide to go back upstream and walk in water up to my chin.  The rough bottom slows my progress.  I reach up and hold onto some thin, flimsy branches hanging out over the water. This helps a little until they disappear and I have to go on unaided.  

As I near the last turn , suddenly there are thousands of people in front of me, all heading downstream.  I’m in the midst of them, trying to make my way back upstream to the place I’m supposed to be – my base camp.  Friendly people press in on every side.  Sometimes I gently touch a head or shoulder to propel myself forward. 

At the mouth of the river I put my hands together in front of me and gently part the people. This reminds them of Moses parting the Red Sea and they smile indulgently.  Then I’m far out in the ocean in deep water, tired and afraid.  Will I make it?  

Suddenly a younger, blond-haired woman is in front of me, only her head showing above the water.  “That was smart of you,” she says.  I know she’s strong and rested and will support me if I need to float for a while.  Together we head slowly to my base, a place I’ve never been but know to be my destination.

For me, walking through the rushing river represented the swift passage of time in my life’s journey.  For most of my life I had been going downstream in the direction of least resistance, believing what I was told to believe, doing what was expected of me, and ignoring some deep, unfulfilled yearnings. But my dream confirmed that the time had come to discover and honor my individuality. Like the children of Israel when they crossed the Red Sea, I was leaving my slavish allegiance to the collective behind.  I was being initiated by the Absolute (the ocean) and led to my true Self by my inner soul guide (the blond woman).

I cannot overstate the importance of this dream.  I knew “I” didn’t create it;  it came from a profound source of wisdom deep within me. I think of this inner wisdom as Sophia, the Divine Mother. The part of her that speaks to me in dreams is Dream Mother. Because I had the courage to listen to her and change the direction of my life, I soon discovered my true passions, writing and the search for self-knowledge, and they have made all the difference.

With the guidance of Sophia’s Feminine wisdom I’ve decided to take my newest plunge: lifestreaming on the internet.  I hope you’ll find something in the outpourings from my base camp that will help you, too, move in the direction of home.

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0 Responses

  1. Fabulous. I really enjoyed the sharing of your dream and the interpretation. Keep up the good work.

  2. I, too, have had such dreams and changed directions in my life because of them. I value the power of the unconscious as apparently you do also. The image you used is lovely and calls to me, although the one I just completed for myself last summer is the green one. The year before that, the yellow one. My daughter comes from Berkeley each summer and we choose and create one of the symbols from a book she brings.
    I love your sharing of this material and look forward to receiving more.

  3. How wonderful. I look forward to charting a course to new experiences with you. You enrich my life through your aspirations and I will continue to enjoy reading your work.

  4. What a pleasure to read your exquisite writing again and to learn of this powerful dream. I know you say I dream, but I honestly only remember one profound one and a few late -for- the- exam ones. You are blessed and wonderful to share with the non-dreamers. xxxB

  5. This is truly wonderful reading and so insightful. I am delighted that you have started this blog. I look forward to reading your blogs and cherish your pearls of wisdom.
    You are a talented writer and person.

  6. Jeanie…Brilliant!! I am so excited about your blog launch and am forwarding it to all the women in my life whom I love and know will benefit and grow with your words of wisdom. Your writing is precious to read…you are a blessing in my life! 🙂

  7. Jeanne,
    Your blog is a wonderful addition to your body of “work”! I shall look forward to reading your entries. It is no accident that you have found your path nor that I have encountered you and your path as I traveled mine! Thanks for sharing your innermost Self so that others can benefit from your experiences.
    To be continued…

  8. Your expression through writing is truly your gift! Thank you for sharing it with us. I look forward to reading more.

  9. Welcome to the blogosphere, Jeanie! This is an intriguing first post and I look forward to seeing where you go from here with this. And I hope we hear from you often!

  10. Jeanie, as always, you’ve touched a place deep inside of me. One of my favorite learnings is depicted by a fish jumping upstream to the caption, “Sometimes it takes a great deal of effort to realize that life is supposed to be effortless.” Thank you for the gentle reminder and for sharing your extraordinary gifts of feminine spirituality and awareness through this new channel. More! More!

  11. Jean Raffa,
    Thank you for bringing this material out in the open for us all to consider…..such archetypal images, they resonate, ringing deeply familiar…..
    This is what the internet is best for! Heart-to-heart, mind-to-mind, communion…..

  12. Jeanie, this is really great! I look forward to reading this one in much more detail and many others in the near future. Dreams are such a part of who we are and yet most of us don’t understand what they mean in our lives. Thanks for sharing some of your vast wealth of knowledge on this subject. Thanks, Bob

  13. Jeanie,
    I don’t know yet why I “found” you and your writing when I did, but whatever the reason, I am sure we will know it one of these days! Everything you write seems to resonate with me and my spiritual growth. I found this to be true with Dream Theatres of the Soul initially and see that same wisdom in your blogs.
    Keep on writing and let me know where all this is taking you! I will do the same. To be continued…

    1. Thank you, Helen,
      It is a source of great joy and a real privilege to be able to connect with people like you just by being who I have to be and doing what I have to do. Who knew the payoff for going against the current would be so wonderful? I certainly didn’t.

  14. Jeanie,
    Yes, I believe in synchronicity. I have been thirsting for a way to connect with others in a Jungian understanding of spirituality,for I had hit a dry spell in the last few years. Yesterday my Yoga friend, Helen, told me of your blog and after reading your most recent entry, I wanted to start at the beginning. So here in the middle of May I respond to your March entry, which I found most compelling. I believe water dreams are particularly significant, especially those deep oceanic ones. Thank you for sharing yours and your beautiful interpretation.
    I was in a dream group for a couple years that in its beginning was a powerful workshop. Several of us had been to Journey into Wholeness and wanted to continue our explorations. However, after several years it gradually morphed into a reading group and I found myself pulling away.
    I’ve not yet read all your entries and do not have time this morn, but have you considered forming an online dream workshop and do you think it would work? I find insights from others who are grounded in the journey so helpful.
    Again, thank you for stepping forth in this new endeavor,

    1. Hi Sally,
      I’m so glad you found me. We Jungian dreamers need each other so much, especially when traveling through the desert: you’re in a dry spell, I’m on my way to Santa Fe! Another lovely synchronicity.
      I’m a Journey Into Wholeness alumna as well. Another thing we have in common. Those conferences were some of the most significant learning experiences of my life. Because of them I joined a Centerpoint group and began concentrated dreamwork. My Centerpoint group continued meeting for about 12 years, but it, too, gradually lost its juice!
      The idea of an online dream group is very intriguing, although now that I’m writing two posts a week for my blog, I’m not altogether sure the time is right for me. I suppose it would depend on when, how long, and how often. It’s definitely something to consider.
      Thank you so much for your response. Interacting with readers is my favorite part of this. I hope you’ll visit back often and give me your feedback.
      Sending bucketsfull of moisture your way….

  15. Ah, jeanie, you lucky one.
    You are probably already in Santa Fe. Such a magical place. My son lives in new Mexico and had a wonderful friend in Santa Fe, more my age than his, who was a Jungian astrologer. She was a fabulous friend to him, who he lost several years ago when she died of cancer. But I believe such authentic friendships live on and feed one’s soul even when the body is gone.
    I understand your concern about the time commitment to an online dream group. But please do keep the idea on the back burner. I am not sure it is a good idea, but finding kindred souls, grounded in a Jungian approach, who want to explore the subtarrean world of our existence in a trusting, intelligent way is a challenge. And, I have found that without such a connection , I rock along in a bit of a dither. That is why I am so delighted to find you and Matrignosis. Your honesty and insights are a gift.
    Enjoy the great food and incredible art and atmoshpere of SF.
    Enjoy Santa Fe

    1. Thanks, Sally,
      Santa Fe was awesome, a gem of a town. Yesterday we moved on to visit dear friends in Angel Fire, a gorgeous ski resort 25 miles away from Taos with blotches of snow still dotting the ground in shady places, and peaceful herds of elk grazing beside the roads.
      I agree with your observation about the ongoing value of such authentic friendships; your son is lucky to have participated in one.
      I will keep the idea of an online dream group in mind; meanwhile, let’s both be on the lookout for others who might be interested. Dream work is by far my favorite mode of underground exploration; it definitely keeps me feeling connected and stable.
      Blessings your way,

  16. Oh, my gosh….my son lives in Angel Fire, truly a small spot of heaven that feeds the soul. Enjoy.

  17. Sally,
    There really is some extraordinary synchronicity going on between us isn’t there? Loved angel Fire! Rafting on the Colorado river today. Love, Jeanie

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