I understand that an emerging name for blog is lifestream. This seems very fitting. It reminds me of one of the two most important dreams of my life. This one came in January of 1989. I had been teaching at a local university for ten years and was growing increasingly dissatisfied. The previous year I had discovered Carl Jung, joined a Jungian study group, and embarked on a program of serious self-examination and dreamwork. The insights I was gaining gave me the courage to consider giving up teaching to do something I really loved, but this was a very difficult step for me. Then I had this BIG dream.
Dream #155:”Going Against the Current.”
I’m walking downstream in a wide, rushing river beside a rocky bank. People are shooting by on rafts and I wonder how they keep from bashing themselves against the rocks. I decide to go back upstream and walk in water up to my chin. The rough bottom slows my progress. I reach up and hold onto some thin, flimsy branches hanging out over the water. This helps a little until they disappear and I have to go on unaided.
As I near the last turn , suddenly there are thousands of people in front of me, all heading downstream. I’m in the midst of them, trying to make my way back upstream to the place I’m supposed to be – my base camp. Friendly people press in on every side. Sometimes I gently touch a head or shoulder to propel myself forward.
At the mouth of the river I put my hands together in front of me and gently part the people. This reminds them of Moses parting the Red Sea and they smile indulgently. Then I’m far out in the ocean in deep water, tired and afraid. Will I make it?
Suddenly a younger, blond-haired woman is in front of me, only her head showing above the water. “That was smart of you,” she says. I know she’s strong and rested and will support me if I need to float for a while. Together we head slowly to my base, a place I’ve never been but know to be my destination.
For me, walking through the rushing river represented the swift passage of time in my life’s journey. For most of my life I had been going downstream in the direction of least resistance, believing what I was told to believe, doing what was expected of me, and ignoring some deep, unfulfilled yearnings. But my dream confirmed that the time had come to discover and honor my individuality. Like the children of Israel when they crossed the Red Sea, I was leaving my slavish allegiance to the collective behind. I was being initiated by the Absolute (the ocean) and led to my true Self by my inner soul guide (the blond woman).
I cannot overstate the importance of this dream. I knew “I” didn’t create it; it came from a profound source of wisdom deep within me. I think of this inner wisdom as Sophia, the Divine Mother. The part of her that speaks to me in dreams is Dream Mother. Because I had the courage to listen to her and change the direction of my life, I soon discovered my true passions, writing and the search for self-knowledge, and they have made all the difference.
With the guidance of Sophia’s Feminine wisdom I’ve decided to take my newest plunge: lifestreaming on the internet. I hope you’ll find something in the outpourings from my base camp that will help you, too, move in the direction of home.