Excavating A Wounded Child with a Mother Complex

Every child experiences anxiety when it becomes aware of its individuality and vulnerability, and mothers vary in their ability to assuage this, our earliest wound. Very good mothers are naturally gentle, patient, good-natured, reassuring and loving. They make their children feel confident, safe and secure.

When Will I Be Loved?

Many of us cover them up quite well, but all of us, children and adults alike, suffer from secret wounds that make us feel unlovable. And unfortunately, the less lovable we believe we are, the less able we are to love.

The Burden and Blessings of Self-Consciousness

At the age of 11 I was stunned by my new awareness and uncomfortable about what I had just done. I had said something that wasn’t true, but apparently with very good effect. The things I said and did could make a difference to others!

Excavating A Wounded Child with a Mother Complex

Every child experiences anxiety when it becomes aware of its individuality and vulnerability, and mothers vary in their ability to assuage this, our earliest wound. Very good mothers are naturally gentle, patient, good-natured, reassuring and loving. They make their children feel confident, safe and secure.

Conscious Parenting

I am so proud of my children: how they turned out, who they married, how well they are raising their children. Their parenting styles are different in many ways, yet both sets of children are delightful: sweet, funny, bright, good-natured, well mannered….(I could go on, of course, but I’ll spare you more grandparental gushing!) Our time together reminds me that no matter how well-prepared we may be for the role of parenting, much of how we approach this most difficult of all jobs is the result of unconscious factors over which we have no control.

Memories of Childhood Dreams

Mama got a job working nights at the hospital. She slept during the day while Daddy was at work and Jimmy was at school, so I entertained myself. I got so accustomed to being alone that once when a little girl asked me to come out and play, I wouldn’t go. She bit my hand and ran away! I couldn’t imagine what her problem was.

The Power of Original Choice

Around 22 years ago I read a quote about original choice that instantly switched on some long-unused lights. I think Emerson wrote it. It was something like, “Nothing is so rare as an original choice.” I was just emerging from a lengthy dark night experience and knew that if I’d read it a decade earlier I would have blown right past it, uncomprehending.

The Shadow King and Queen in Relationships

Our species is acquiring a broader perspective that envisions reciprocal partnerships between our masculine and feminine sides. Both intuition and experience tell us that healing the divide between these opposites will give birth to creative new ways of thinking and being that will better serve the needs of all of us. Yet with comparatively few models of the healthy Queen to emulate, we’re struggling mightily to understand and respect her.

Should You Trust Your True Emotions?

Emotions are the body’s expressions of our instinctual, archetypal selves. If we’re hungry we feel anxious or irritable. If we see blood we feel fear. If someone says something mean to us we feel hurt or angry. If an object of our affection rejects us for another we feel jealousy and pain. If someone thwarts our desire we resent them. If someone dies we feel sad. These are powerful physical realities.

Gaia's Children

My third-grade grandsons were given an assignment to write about the most beautiful place in nature they can imagine. Jake has wonderful memories of a special winter day in the Smoky Mountains. He drew the picture you see here. This is his story: